I was driving around and stopped at a red light. As I was anticipating the light to turn green, I received a text message on my phone; I looked down at it, read the message and typed up my reply. After I sent my text I looked back up and realized that the light had already turned green while my attention was diverted towards my phone.
Right as I was about to put my foot on the gas pedal, a pickup truck came speeding through a red light on the intersection. The truck would have hit me had I not initially been delayed and distracted by my phone.
I know I wasn’t technically driving since I was stopped at a stoplight, but I guess this is one of those rare instances where being sidetracked by a cell phone while being behind the wheel actually prevented disaster. I’m grateful, although it’s still irresponsible to be playing with my phone while I’m driving in the first place. I guess I was just lucky to have something so fortuitous transpire despite me being a bit careless on the road during that brief moment.
I used to say that insomnia is a bitch, but now I'm starting to appreciate it.
These late night thoughts I’ve been having the past couple of nights/mornings has seriously been helping me gain clarity within my mindset. All of the reflection and introspection that commences in my head as I struggle to sleep has led me to being more motivated at improving myself to accomplish all my goals; to develop and advance in a much more efficient pace, rather than lag and waste time/potential like I did during the past two years.
So for now, I’m thankful for this insomnia; it’s given me the time to analyze every aspect of my life that I normally overlook during the busy hours of the day. It’s led me to having the awareness that I’ve been lacking, although that’s only Step One. Now I just have to make good habits so that this motivation actually leads to something.
I’m a little late on posting this, but on Thursday my friends and I got to kick it with Natalia for one last time before she had to get ready to go back home to Russia. We all had dinner at a sushi place in Japantown, then later on we hung out around the shopping centers nearby before saying our goodbyes to each other.
I was hoping for our final kick it to last a whole day and to be more eventful, but due to everyone’s schedules we were only available on Thursday and only had about 2-3 hours to hang out. I’m not complaining, though; As long as we got to spend some time with her on her last free day, then it’s all good.
During dinner, I asked Natalia what her “friends” said to her when they saw her at school again. She said that they didn’t get to see her for 2 weeks because she was out sick from all the alcohol poisoning she had gotten from the bonfire, and when they finally saw her again they didn’t even apologize for what they did.
Hella fucked up.
They brought her out to the beach, made her drink even though she had stomach problems, left her at the beach by herself late at night, and after all that they couldn’t even say sorry? Those are some shady ass “friends”, forreal.
It’s really too bad that she lived far away from my friends and I during her year long stay in the US. Instead of hanging out with her classmates who just took advantage of her, she could have been kickin it with my friends and I who actually care. What sucks is that during the short time we’ve known each other, we all started to bond a little more, but it has to come to an end since she’s going back home to Russia for good.
Just about a half hour ago, I got a text from her saying that she’s on the airplane and that it’s about to take off in ten minutes. I texted her back with my last goodbye, wishing her a safe flight back to Russia, and she replies with another text thanking me for everything.
Good thing I was pulling an all-nighter, otherwise I would have slept through the unexpected last text of hers without having a chance to respond. I don’t know, I just feel good right now knowing that I made somewhat of a positive impact in her life during a time when others were treating her like crap. Doing good for others like her seems to bring a bright spot into my own life, too.
A lot of people tend to not do much early on in the season because they feel like they have the rest of the entire summer to do hella shit, but the next thing they know Summer’s already over and they’ll be having school the next day.
The days go by fast this season, don’t take time for granted.
Have fun while you can and make memories. Have some goals for the summer, too. You don’t want to be sitting there at the end of August realizing you didn’t do much and wasn’t productive during summer.
Lmfao, I saw Jay Ant this weekend. he literally lives across the street from my friend in Hercules. He waved when we pulled up and my friend was like "There's Jay Ant" I was like "oh shit" lol
what'd he say about your video shoot?
Haha damn, hella random how you saw him. That’s dope.
We agreed to do two music videos last summer for his ‘All About Being Cool’ mixtape. We were supposed to film a music video around Hercules for his track “Posted” which was supposed to include a BBQ type of scene and then we were going to throw a Telly to film a video for his song “Live Once”.
We ended up never going through with the video shoots; he just straight up stopped responding to me for some reason, and a couple months later he ended up doing a mv for “Live Once” with a different director although it was a hella whack video. Hella shady.
I aint trippin, though. I know I need to set a good reputation as a director first before I can start working with “big name” rappers in the Bay. That’s why I’m just doing local stuff for some more experience before I start networking with people like Jay Ant again. It wasn’t the first time a rapper catted on me, either.
I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo to pay tribute to him. Since he’s an artist, I thought it would be a great idea if he designed it for me, that way I’ll have a little piece of his artwork on me that I can always remember him by when he’s gone. If I got a tattoo to represent my dad, it would be that much better if he designed it himself instead of having some random tattoo artist draw it.
The problem is that I don’t know what the design should be. I want it to represent him, our relationship, or something like that. I don’t want it hella big, but something somewhat small and simple. I don’t want to over do it. I’ll have to think about it for a while to make sure I know exactly what I want. The idea might be corny to a lot of people, but it’s something I’ve really thought about and considered.
A post from 7/22/10.
I still haven’t gone through with this. It’s been about a year since my last tattoo, but I’m going to make sure my next one is designed by my dad.
A lot of people say that you have to experience some type of hardship to appreciate the money you have. Some kids/teenagers get money from their parents and spend it so quickly and carelessly as if it grew on trees. It’s not until they grow up and finally get a job that they realize just how hard it is to earn money.
For me, I never experienced money problems growing up. My dad would always give me extra pocket money whenever I’d go out. I never asked for the money, but he’d give it to me anyways.
It may seem that he was spoiling me, but he did so because of his past. He also taught me how to be grateful for the money he’d give me.
When my dad was younger, he and his siblings grew up with nothing in the Philippines. They lived in a house made out of bamboo floors and had nothing really entertaining to do.
When my dad was a teenager, his family didn’t even have a radio. They didn’t have a TV, either. Their neighbor felt so bad for them, that she’d occasionally have her TV facing outside her window towards my dad’s house so that my dad and his sisters could watch.
When my dad would hang out with his friends after school, he didn’t have the money to do certain things with his classmates. They would walk around the city to hang out, but when they’d come across some type of restaurant and decided to eat, my dad would leave and say he had to go home. He would lie to them about going home because he had no money to eat out with them. He’d be too embarrassed to tell them, so he’d come up with some lame excuse to go home.
When my dad got his first job, it was at a car shop for a millionaire. Even though he worked for a rich man, he still got paid shit. One day, my dad was working on a car when his boss came up to him to pay him; his boss threw the money at him while he was crouched on the ground working. My dad said that moment was the shittiest he ever felt in his life. His boss treated him like he was nothing and threw money at him as if he was a beggar.
He ended up grinding harder for money and went to Saudi Arabia for better work when he got older. He spent 7 years there saving as much money as he could, which eventually allowed him to go back to the Philippines and buy his mom an actual house instead of that bamboo shit. Buying a house for his mom was something that he promised her he’d do back when he was a teenager.
After he moved to the US, he eventually started to make a lot of money. He’s not hella rich (he’s just making average income), but he’s grateful for every cent that he earns because he knows what it’s like to grow up poor. We have a nice two story house, HDTVs everywhere and he’s able to provide for his family without a lot of stress.
That’s why whenever he knew I was going out with friends, he’d give me extra money. He remembers those moments when he was too embarrassed to be with friends because he was poor, and doesn’t ever want me to feel that same way. If my friends decided they wanted to eat out, he’d want me to have money to go with them. Even when I would be taking girls out on dates, he’d occasionally give me extra money so we could go to nice restaurants instead of just regular fast food joints.
All of this makes me look spoiled since I was given money when I was younger instead of earning it myself, but I really did appreciate it as if I earned it. I don’t feel that I needed to experience some type of hardship at the time to realize how hard it is to make money. Thinking about my dad and what he went through in his past is what made me so grateful for everything I had. I learned from my dad’s history.
That’s what kids and teens need to do more often; they have to realize the hard work their parents put in for them and how they try to give them the childhood they never had.
Reblogging this post about my dad since it’s Father’s Day.
He just turned 60 earlier this month, but unfortunately isn’t close to retirement yet. What’s worse is that he works with a bad back and his job involves heavy lifting. He’s supposed to be getting back surgery to fix his spine, but the rehab would put him out of work for a long time. He said he wants to continue to work because he wants to provide for the family.
He could have just gone with the surgery and I could have worked full time to help out with money, but he said he doesn’t want me to do that. Instead, he wants me to focus on school now and finish my GE to finally get into Optometry school (Filmmaking/Directing will only be a side thing while I’m in school).
I don’t know, I’m just really worried about him. At any moment, his back could get even worse and he could end up being paralyzed if it gets really bad. I just want him to get that surgery already so he doesn’t have to take any risks with his back anymore.
If I ever need inspiration to succeed with my goals, my dad is who I’ll be thinking of. I seriously need to stop lagging with my work and start getting hella more active with it. I know I can go far, and when I do my parents will be able to benefit from it.
I was looking at my old Myspace earlier and was reminiscing on some photos from the past. I came across a picture that I took with this girl who hella liked me back then; It was a photo from a “double date” we had with two of our friends at some Chinese restaurant.
I’m not gonna lie, looking at that photo made me think about “what could have been” had I actually liked her back around that time. I remembered how during that night, her and I were sitting across from each other at our table, face to face. At the end of dinner we all received our fortune cookies and our friend made her read her fortune out loud.
Her fortune: “Stop looking around. Everything you need is right in front of you”.
After reading it, she tilted her head up to look at me, who was sitting right in front of her.
So as I’m looking at the photo and having that flashback, my iTunes (which was on shuffle) started to play “I Should Have Kissed You” by Chris Brown. As the song was playing, it just made me remember all the shit we did together and the friendship we once had, then how I eventually just drifted apart from her like it was nothing. All those memories replaying in my head along with that song playing in the background had me wondering what would have happened had I actually appreciated her more.
Corny, I know, but moments like this are trippy as fuck.
This is Stacy. I met him outside of SF’s Ocean Beach yesterday and he was doing all of these dope acrobatics. Those poses he’s doing in the photos? He could literally hold those for 10 minutes straight with ease. It’s amazing how he was able to pull off those handstands so effortlessly while also contorting his body.
I told him he should try breakdancing; he’d make for a dope b-boy since he has superhuman like body control.
If you're going to be cocky, at least have a reason to be.
Cocky ass people with nothing to show for it are some of the most annoying people. They expect me and others to have a certain reaction/respect towards them, but instead I give them the opposite.
You expect me to look up to you or something? Fuck you. You’re hella lame, bro.
If someone is cocky for an approriate reason, then I’m cool with that. I can tolerate some arrogance if someone is legitimately dope; They deserve to act like that as long as they don’t get too carried away most of the time. But if you’re just some douchebag acting bigger than you really are, then no, have some damn modesty. Be humble. You’re not better than everyone and the world does not revolve around you.
There’s a thin line between cockiness and confidence. Everyone needs to have confidence, it’s just that some people go overboard and start getting way too big headed.
What was originally supposed to be a trip for just my cousin and I ended up with hella people wanting to tag along. I don’t even know how everyone else found out about it (I only invited one other person), but I’m not complaining; the more the merrier.
It’s almost 5am and I still haven’t slept yet. I even took Nyquil earlier at around 11pm so that I could get drowsy and fall asleep early, but it didn’t work. I guess I’ve taken Nyquil so much that my body has finally become immune to it. It used to be that taking it would instantly knock me out for a good night’s sleep, but now no more. Insomnia is a bitch.
I told everyone who texted me about the trip to be ready by 10am and that we’ll be leaving around that time. Since it’s almost 5am it’s already too late for me to sleep now. I still have to drop my little sister off at school at 7:45am, then get everything ready for the day.
I also have to pick everyone up, either at their houses or at their school. I’m going to feel like a damn taxi driver doing this, but once again, I’m not complaining. It’s not like I do this all the time anyway.
Hopefully today will be a good day despite my lack of sleep. I’ll be with some good company, I know that alone will keep me awake; I’m going to need to stay awake since I’ll be the one driving the whole day. Maybe we’ll stop by the beach today if it’s nice and sunny.
You’re subconscious is telling you something. Like, do you miss the friendship you had before you found out they liked you? Or more in general, do you miss that feeling of knowing someone likes you? Or broad, what if they stood for someone else?
Yeah, I keep thinking it has to do with my subconscious.
Some of these girls I’ve never even had an actual friendship with; they were just random girls from school - or from mutual friends - who showed interest in me, but I just ignored them (not in an asshole type of way, though). I just let them chase until they gave up.
I don’t really miss the feeling of knowing someone likes me, I still get that feeling sometimes since I know some girls who have admitted to liking me recently.
I don’t understand what you’re asking in that third question. Could you clarify a bit?
No matter how many times I see the emoticon above, I still don’t understand it. It’s supposedly a sad face tearing up, but it really looks like someone winking while frowning. Who the hell winks while they frown? Lol. Try doing that face in real life and you’ll see how random this emoticon is.
I miss this. Being able to just walk outside my house and just kick it with all the neighborhood kids. Those were my real friends back then.
Unfortunately, as the years went on they eventually either all moved away or changed so much that I stopped kicking it with them.
Now that I’m older, my summers constantly involve driving around so much. While I love the freedom of driving around and going to new places with friends, I still sometimes miss those days where I could just find simple happiness in just kickin it with everyone on the block.
I miss that. Whether it be running around the street goofing around with everyone or all of us gathering in one house to play video games on the N64. Everything was so simple back then yet we still had the time of our lives. Things change when you’re not a kid anymore.
Sometimes when I’m on Tumblr, I see these pictures of random places from around the world and I just wonder what my life would be like if I lived in places like that.
I guess I’m just subconsciously bored with the location that I currently reside in and that I need to explore new places that are far away; To have that sense of fresh anonymity in a new city or country and meet all kinds of unique people who are different than the types that I’m normally accustomed to. I think a change like that would add a beneficial breath of fresh air into my life, even if it’s just temporary.